20 Famous Women Aging Gracefully

            

    

Well, we're all getting older, aren't we? Even if you're still young, trust me -- even YOU are aging, just a little bit, every hour of every day. Now that I'm "of a certain age" I'm looking to women who have blazed  the silver trail ahead of me to be my example...both how to age gracefully...and sadly, sometimes as cautionary tales.

What's considered "normal" aging is constantly changing. 

In 1969, Anne Bancroft played the notorious older woman Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. She was a whopping 39 years old at the time.  Wow! Times, they are a changing' fast.

It's pretty confusing sometimes. What's appropriate behavior for older women? What's appropriate dress? 

Oh, Madonna. You look great, but...please...the words "age" and "appropriate" are evidently not in Madonna's vocabulary at all, let alone used together in the same sentence.

So, if not Madonna, who can we look to for guidance on how to maneuver this minefield?

 Here is my list, in order, of the 20 most beautiful famous women aging gracefully.  We know that they all watch what they eat, limit smoking and alcohol, take care of their skin and exercise. They probably get massages and maybe get facials and skin treatments. What they don't do is have too much botox or plastic surgery, and they don't try to look 25. 

But, there's something deeper. What is it? Watch and learn, ladies. Watch and learn...

20) Billie Jean King, tennis player, age 71

Billie Jean says: "Keep learning. Keep learning how to learn. Stay curious. Be resilient and engaged in life. Keep moving, or it's over. Reinvent yourself on a regular basis."

When I worked in an office, I was amazed how many of my colleagues just sat at their desks and never moved, practically all day. Of course, these ladies were also overweight, depressed and aging prematurely. What I did to prevent this was drink large amounts of water, tea and coffee, which necessitated me to get up and walk (you know where) every 30 minutes or so. Whatever works, baby! 

Billie Jean says: "The main thing is to care. Care very hard, even if it is just a game you are playing." 

19) Kathy Bates, actress, age 67

Kathy's health tip: "I cut Cokes out of my life. It's so easy to reach for one 

for the sugar, but I cut it out."

Her humility and lack of guile is what impresses me. When she showed her zaftig body, full frontal! -- in the movie About Schmidt -- without shame -- well, I was floored. To be so comfortable in ones own skin is, I think, a crucial aspect of aging gracefully.

Kathy doing what I would never -- could never -- do.

                                                    18) Martha Stewart, lifestyle icon, age 73

I used to think Martha was your typical Connecticut snob (and maybe she was) but she really impressed me when she handled the whole prison thing with so much grace. I think jail humbled her. Which, in turn, made her stronger. 

Martha's anti-aging tips: "Healthy living is an ongoing, ever-evolving project. If you try to overhaul too many aspects of your life at once, you'll find yourself overwhelmed. Instead, pick one small, healthy habit to start practicing today, whether it's drinking more water, walking at lunchtime or attending a weekly yoga class. My favorite workout is lifting weights. I like feeling strong."

17) Annie Liebowitz, photographer, age 65

Annie says: "There's something beautiful about not being in control all the time." She stays youthful and vibrant by using her lens to see the beauty and meaning in the world around her. And, oh yeah, she had a baby at age 51. 

I think the act of being a photographer (taking pictures of OTHERS -- not selfies!) is a great way to stay young and to keep perspective. It keeps the emphasis on others and the world around us rather than ourselves.

16) Annie Lennox, singer,  age 60

Annie says: "You've really got to have your wits about you. You have to be grounded. I don't aim to be perfect -- an 'icon.' I'm a human being. That's the most important thing."

She also says: "I go out of my way to avoid shopping crowds and extreme consumerism. I hate all that." 

15) Jane Goodall, anthropologist, age 81

Not surprisingly, the modest and humble Ms. Goodall does not talk about herself much in interviews. She's much more likely to use the microphone to promote environmentalism, conservation, respect for all life, etc. She has shared some spiritual wisdom, though.

About trees: "The two things I've learned from observing trees are patience and endurance."

On observing nature: "I always try to see the trees outside in any room that I am in, even if it means rearranging the furniture or sitting on the floor. There are always little snippets of nature to watch -- starlings playing in the wind, sparrows seizing crumbs. Even in the inner city, little plants push up bravely through little cracks in walkways or walls."

I've experienced this phenomenon myself. If I'm troubled, I've noticed that if I get out of myself and look UP, look around, take a deep breath and see that despite my trouble, the world continues to spin. The sun rises and falls. Somehow this eases my self-centered unease and helps me to shake off whatever is bothering me at the time, and become one with the earths continuing rhythms. 

14) Rosie Perez, actress, age 50

Rosie is especially inspiring because she was a foster child in Brooklyn and was mostly raised by nuns. Rosie says: "If we can't look at the good, bad and the ugly of who we really are, we are never going to progress as people -- ever."

13) Ellen DeGeneres, comedienne, age 57

Ellen on aging: "I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 57. It's just crazy that I'm 57. I feel like a kid!"

12) Jamie Lee Curtis, actress, age 56

Jamie Lee says: "We are all going to age and soften and mellow and transition. All of us, if we are lucky enough to make it through this hard life and into older adulthood. We are in the chain of our ancestors, like it or not. These are truths to be celebrated, and in other countries they are. The term "older and wiser" is actually in play in the world, everywhere but here."

11) Sharon Stone, actress, age 57

Sharon says: "Sometimes I literally have to force myself to sit down and look at myself in the mirror and say: 'You are a lot older, and you don't look the same as you did 30 years ago.' 

You can't keep on doing the same hair and makeup and dress the same as you did back then. You have to face the face that you have."

So I guess we can assume we won't see Sharon doing anything like THIS again:

Oh, dear...

10) Rita Moreno, actress, dancer, age 83

Rita says: "I do a lot of walking, every day.  The greatest lesson I ever learned is you don't die from not being liked. You have to be able to get back up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward. I'm a very happy person -- I'm jolly by nature."

9) Whoopie Goldberg, comedienne, age 59 

Whoopi says: "Listen, the best advice on aging is this: what's the alternative? The alternative, of course, is death. So I'm happy to deal with aging. I'll take it."

8) Betty White, actress, age 93

Betty advises: "Don't try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won't live long enough to find out about, but I'm still curious about them."

Betty's #1 beauty tip: "Get eight hours of sleep a night. Nine if you're ugly."

7) Diane Keaton, actress, age 69

Diane says: "Being over 50 humbles us. Life expands and we see the larger picture. It helps to be engaged and curious. Laughter is the best medicine." 

And if all else fails... 

"Well, la, di, da. Laaa diiiii da." 

6) Diane Sawyer, journalist, age 69

Diane says: "The one lesson I learned in life is there is no substitute for paying attention. I've always found a cure for the blues is wandering into something unknown, and resting there, before coming back to whatever weight you were carrying." 

5) Dara Torres, swimmer, age 48

When asked if it freaks her out that she's the oldest Olympic swimmer ever, she says: "Oh, no. It's an honor." 

In my current work as a camp nurse up here in the mountains, I'm often the oldest staff member. Like Dara, this doesn't depress me. It inspires me. Being around healthy, optimistic young people is a gift -- a privilege. They keep me young, and hopefully on occasion a bit of my hard earned wisdom might rub off on them. 

She also says: "I love challenges, and I love to have fun." 

4) Oprah Winfrey, lifestyle icon, age 61

Oprah says: "You CAN have it all. Just not all at once." 

What impresses me about Oprah is she's really gone through some humiliating weight yo-yo's under the glare of the public eye, yet she never gives up. She is willing to laugh at herself (or WITH herself), dust herself off and try again. She is committed to help to make the world a better place via her magazine and her amazingly inspirational and beautiful TV programs like Super Soul Sunday. 

Oprah also says: "Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher." And: "The right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it."

3) Halle Berry, actress, age 48

This beauty rubs pure Vitamin C onto her face before applying moisturizer, so...(CRASH! That's the sound of me dropping the laptop, jumping into the car, speeding to Whole foods to buy a giant jug of pure Vitamin C oil)...OK, I'm back. 

I'll have what she's having, is all I can say. 

2) Cheryl Crowe, musician, age 53

Cheryl says: "I don't spend a lot of time looking in the mirror.

 So, as far as I know, I look 24, which is how I feel." She adds: "I don't spend a lot of time thinking about regrets because there's nothing I can do about them."

1) Meryl Streep, actress,  age 66

Meryl, like most of the women on this list, exercises (she swims up to a mile 2-3 times a week), watches what she eats (mostly organic) and takes care of her skin. "At awards shows I get free creams in the gift bags and I usually just slather on one of those until it's gone," she says. 

"It is well that the earth is round and we can't see too far ahead," Meryl points out. But then she says: "It's impossible to be spoiled if you do your own ironing," and finally she admits that despite all of her success: "I'm all over the place."

What sets all of these women apart, I think, is their sense of joy and humility.  They make music and they dance and laugh and they never give up on love, or life. Their beauty goes way beyond skin deep. The most inspirational thing about all of this is you and I can age beautifully, no matter what we LOOK like. 

True beauty really does come from within. And that's something we can all aim for.

What's Your Mind/Body/Spirit Score?

                                              Happiness: what is it, and how do I find it?


 I've posted often on the science of happiness. I know what you're thinking, scoffers, but believe me, the science of happiness is real -- and it's spectacular. ;-)


 We've all heard that life as we know it is made up of the mind, the body and the spirit. As I understand it,  our aim should be to nurture each one of these aspects -- and then, if we're lucky, we experience moments when they flow together in perfect balance --  one elegant organism of life.

                                     OK, we know about the mind, body and spirit. Now what?



       I love to analyze things and to come up with guidelines to help me attain any goals I might have. In thinking about the mind/body/spirit thing, one day it dawned on me: what if I figured out a scientific way to analyze and calculate where I am on the mind/body/spirit continuum?

     The next step I took was to see that every action I take on any given day affects either the mind, the body or the spirit positively or negatively. Many actions affect more than one of the three. But every action we takes affects our mind/body/spirit in some way.

   So I started looking at very general and obvious actions.


                                         Let's take something obviously good, like running.

    As every runner knows, running clears the mind, strengthens the body and makes your soul soar.

   So, if we applied a score for running as an activity, it would be +1 for the mind, +1 for the body and +1 for the spirit. That's 3 points total.

   Now, let's look at something negative, like smoking. Smoking is -1 for the body, and I suppose neutral for the mind and spirit. So that's a total of -1.

   There are lots of things that are good for either the mind, body and spirit. Any physical or mental activity gives you a +1 in that area.

 
       So OK, OK, I guess I have to admit that even a video game like Candy Crush Saga is good for the mind (well, it's good for the brain, anyway), as experts agree that video games can and do prevent Alzheimer's disease.  So you can give yourself a +1 there. But I might argue that excessive video game playing would give you a -1 for the soul...(there's a healthy debate to be had there, I'm sure). It's also neutral for the body. So adding up the total of the three, it adds up to a "neutral."

   And if you eat a dozen donuts in one sitting, I think we can all agree that would be bad for the mind, body and spirit. That's a -3.

Donuts = BAD. (This is not a comment on Chris Christie, by the way. I put in "eating donuts" on the Google search engine and he popped up, I swear.)

Even something passive like watching TV gets a score. If I watch an astronomy documentary on the Science Channel, that definitely gives me a +1 in the "mind" department (but I suppose it's neutral in the body and spirit categories -- unless, that is, I'm eating a dozen donuts while I'm watching).

On the rare occasion that I indulge in a Real Housewives or Kardashians program, I'd give that a "neutral" in the mind department (watching these shows may not be GOOD for your brain, but science has yet to prove that they literally fry your neurons). However, it might be a -1 in the spirit department, as increasingly I'm finding watching the behavior of these women upsetting and even a bit depressing.

Kardashians = BAD for the spirit

If you're a parent, obviously just spending time reading a book to your child gives you a big +2 points (one for mind, one for spirit).

Reading to your kids: it's a no-brainer!

And of course, for Chris and I, playing music is another big +2 point activity (1+ mind, 1+ spirit).

Music: it's a 1-2 punch!

The point of this whole exercise for me was to make me aware of the affect my daily activities have on my body, mind and spirit. Obviously if you add up all of the activities of the day, you would hope to be in the mostly positive column. If you're way in the negative, then some soul searching might be indicated.

Mostly, it's about thinking about what we're doing. Being present. Accountable. Life is short...

My 8 Steps to Ending Fear of Flying Forever

                           "Pray to God, but row away from the rocks. "   --  Arabic saying

    Yes, it's true. The Wimpy Cruiser used to be a very wimpy flyer. I never freaked out during the flight or anything...no planes have ever turned around on my account.

   But I used to be nervous flying. And I don't think I'm alone. And since I don't drink or take drugs (which certainly come in handy for some people in handling this little picadillo), I was left to my own devices to figure out how to settle myself down.

  Oh, you can spend hundreds of dollars for seminars which teach you how to manage the issue. I understand they mainly teach you to close your eyes just before take-off, and go to your "happy place." To basically pretend you are someplace else.

  Well, frankly, this always seemed silly to me. There's no denying where we are, folks.

"We're leaving on a jet plane! Don't know when we'll be back again...Oh, babe, don't let us crash..."      :-/

  During one pre-flight check a few years ago, as my heart began to pound with the scary, mechanical noises and jolts that shook the cabin as they loaded the luggage below, I came upon an epiphany. I realized immediately that I had the answer to my problem! My own 8 step plan became immediately evident to me. I was cured!

 Here's the program:

 1) Instead of DENYING that you are on an airplane (because really, who are we fooling here, anyway. Not you!) and going to your "happy place," scratch that. Your happy place is no longer a white sandy beach with palm trees gently wafting above. Your happy place is on that damn plane sitting in that damn seat!

 2) Forget about trying to get an aisle seat, the better to never get a peek out the window and perpetuate the lie that you are not on the plane at all. Go for the WINDOW seat, baby;

 3) As you sit in the window seat, look out the window at the engines, at the wings. Observe the crew preparing the plane. Don't close your eyes. Participate in the process;

4) This is a big one: you need to completely accept that you are not in control. The pilot, crew, air traffic controllers, mechanics who last worked on the plane --- THESE are the people controlling your fate. So just give it up. If the plane's going down, it's going down. And there's nothing YOU can do about it.

 Now, at first this thought is horrifying. But once you really absorb it, it's kind of a relief. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. Let the professionals worry about it. Just sit back and enjoy the flight;

(And just a little note about God here: I never said you shouldn't pray. Nothing in this plan precludes praying. Go right ahead.)

5) Rely on statistics. Every day millions of people fly in jetliners and crashes are less and less frequent every year;

6) Now, while you may not have any control in whether the plane crashes or not, in the case of a crash or a hard landing, you may need to save yourself. So for the love of God, instead of going off to happy land while the stewardess (sorry, "flight attendant") gives you instructions how to exit the plane and safe your life -- be original and actually LISTEN to her.  Take out the cardboard directions in the back of the seat in front of you (the ones you always ignore), read them, and figure out how to get out of that plane as fast as possible, should the unthinkable become necessary.

In short: find the closest exit, and count the number of seat rows to the exit. Now that you have a plan in case the worst happens -- you can relax!  :-) People underestimate the calm feeling that comes over you when you realize that, per the Serenity Prayer, you have actually controlled what you CAN, and "turned over" the rest;

7) OK, now the plane is backing out, and you're heading out to the runway. This is often the most nervous time...waiting...waiting...waiting. For entertainment, stand up and look back at all of those pathetic sacks, sitting there with their eyes closed, pulses racing, trying to fool us into thinking that they're asleep while they're really frantically trying to go to their happy place.

 Pity them. There is nothing you can do for these folks. Wish them well and move on.

 Now. Sit back down and fasten your seatbelt. You're in the for the ride of your life!

 Think of yourself as an astronaut during the countdown of a rocket into outer space. Feel the revving of the engines. Marvel at the amazing, powerful technology! Get into it! You're so lucky to be here! Think how many humans never even get the chance to go up in a jetliner. But not YOU! You're one of the fortunate ones!

 8) OK, we're hurtling down the runway now. Make yourself LOOK OUT THE WINDOW. Watch the whole thing in amazement and excited awe. Try to have sympathy for the guy next to you, sweating bullets and cramming his eyes shut in panic. He's missing the whole thing!

  Here's the best part. FEEL the centrifical force as the jet hurtles forward. Be amazed at the power which is pressing you into the back of your seat. Look outside again. Smile at yourself.

  3. 2. 1. Liftoff!

   As the jet lifts off, look down as far as you can. Press your face and palms against the glass as a 5 year old would.  Again, marvel at the sight -- at the simply amazing fact that you are even here doing this at all!

   The takeoff and first few moments of flight may be the most horrifying, but they are also the most beautiful. Watch the land and ocean spread out below you. Watch the sunrise and the clouds as you slice through them. It's a spectacular sight -- and lucky you: you get to see it, in person!

  So -- that's pretty much the program. FULL IMMERSION. It worked for me like a charm and I apply it every time I fly.

  Now, this program also comes in handy during my sailing adventures as well. For instance, during our  one night passage to Isla Mujeres, Mexico from Belize, we experienced some big wind and even bigger waves and swells.

  So instead of going down into the cabin and being bounced around the interior of the boat like a ping pong ball, trying to "deny" that I'm out at sea in the middle of nowhere being battered all over hell -- I choose to place myself at the highest, most visible spot in the cockpit -- face forward, and ride Espiritu like the bucking bronco she is.

                          Not only does this help squash my fear, it also eases seasickness. (Just a tip).

           You can see the growing wave heading right towards Espiritu in this photo. These were big ones. I had to trust that Espiritu would propel over the top of this one, just like she has every other one of the thousands of waves she has sailed over during her 30 years at sea.

      How fortunate I was to be here, experiencing the overwhelming power of the sea.


      So, give my 8 point plan a try. Let me know how it works!

     Chris and I remain anchored at Isla Mujeres, Mexico. We'll be looking for a weather window to make the 3 day sail north to the Florida Keys.


    Hasta luego, my fellow happy travelers...   :-)

Take me to the river...drop me in the water

Upon sailing south to the warm waters of Mexico, I've re-discovered something about myself that I had long ago forgotten -- a reality that I had not experienced since I was a child:

I love, love, LOVE to swim. To just be in the water.

Chris and I have been enjoying near-daily swims off the stern of Espiritu since the water has been warm enough to do so ('round about Mag Bay in Baja).

Unfortunately our swim ladder snapped in two a few days ago, so repairing/replacing it is now about #11 on our "repair/replace" list. Which meant we were temporarily boat-bound, as there is no way to climb back into the boat from the water without a ladder.

But yesterday it was so hot and muggy here in the La Cruz anchorage that I just HAD to take a dip. I told Chris to listen for me as he practiced the fiddle in the main salon of Espiritu. I would attempt to find a way to climb back onto the boat, either via the dinghy, or rigging some sort of rope contraption, etc, with Chris standing by inside the boat listening for any calls for distress. Plus, it would be smart to figure out an emergency way to get back onto the boat in case we accidently found ourselves in the water without our ladder.

So I dove on in.

AAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh............

There is something so comforting and invigorating about finding ones self floating in warm crystalline water...weightless, yet gently supported by unseen physical forces. The ocean calmly embraces you, nudges you along, caresses you and welcomes you for as long as you choose to stay in her encompassing womb.

All of the stresses and worries of the day are literally washed away, like a baptism.

My parents tell me that when I was a toddler, I would swim like a little minnow in our apartment building pool in Costa Mesa for hours on end (and this was before water wings, people!).  Later, when we owned a home in the same town, my sisters and I just about died and went to heaven when our parents decided to build our own pool in the backyard!

                                                       Complete with a SLIDE!   :-)

Those were some amazing years back then, with countless joyous hours spent swimming, playing Marco Polo, floating and just hanging out in our backyard pool.


 If I haven't told you lately, Thanks, Mom and Dad. :-) 

Anyway, after I grew up and we sold the house, like most adults I rarely swam anymore. You know the drill -- working more than full time, then there's dinner to cook after work, etc.

So, back to yesterday. I enjoyed a 20 minute swim around the boat...sometimes just floating and letting the current carry me, other times doing gentle, relaxing strokes to get a bit of exercise in.

I attempted to pull myself up into the dinghy several times, which involved some awkward contortions of my hapless body, limbs akimbo.

No luck.

I continued my leisurely swim for another few minutes, then tried awkwardly to climb aboard Espiritu via the stern. I valiantly attempted to pull myself up by a rope, muscles quivering, and fell back into the water again and again. Nope. Not gonna happen.

Suddenly I saw a dingy barreling towards me at top speed. I waved to make sure that they saw me and would not run me over. The couple, from a neighboring sailboat, cried with concern:

"Are you alright? Can we help? Do you need rescuing?"

Ha! Well, I must have been quite an entertaining sight through their binoculars: my middle aged butt, arms and legs scrambling and jerking as I attempted over and over again to lug this middle aged body onto the boat via any means necessary.

Happy to provide entertainment for y'all. That's me...(LOL)...

I laughed, apologized profusely, thanked them for their chivalry, explained what I was up to, and that my husband was inside the boat ready to come pull me out if need be.

They didn't laugh, though. They looked kind of pissed. Chris came out and we thanked them again. We tried to introduce ourselves, but they promptly terminated the conversation, turned the boat in a bit of a huff and returned, full throttle, to their sailboat. They were a bit miffed, I think, that they came all the way over for nothing. Hmmmm. Sorry to disappoint you that I am JUST. FINE.     :-/

I finally did figure out a way to climb into the dinghy using the bridle, at which point I could climb back into Espiritu. Safe and sound.

The moral of this story is this: if you have access to a swimming pool (or a lake or ocean during the warmer months) -- dive back in. Reacquaint yourself with one of the simple joys of childhood, which should really be something we experience until our dying day. And remember, if you haven't done it in awhile, swimming is like riding a bike. Once you dive in, your body remembers the motions.

You might need some help getting out of the water, though. :-)