Galapagos! Cocos! Costa Rica...Oh My!

Even though this will be our first big sailing adventure on our own boat, I do have lots of route planning experience.

For example, during my years of commuting, I always scrupulously chose the driving route with the most right turns.

The more right turns, and more specifically, the less left turns, the quicker and easier the driving route.

I was so religious in this line of thinking that all of my grocery stores, pharmacies, gas stations, etc., were chosen primarily for being on the right side of the road, and not the left.

             You could call this laziness, but to me it's just smart.

                                    It's economy of motion.

Now we're dealing with major passage planning. For the past 3 months we've been basically planning on sailing from Puerta Vallarta, Mexico to The Marquesas in French Polynesia in April, 2012.

Puerta Vallarta, Mexico to The Marquesas Islands is about 2,800 miles. 

The other option would be to continue south from Puerta Vallarta, visit Southern Mexico and Costa Rica, then head west to The Galapagos, and on to The Marquesas.

                  Now, Costa Rica to the Galapagos is not so bad:

                                   That's about 800 miles.

But then the Galapagos west to the Marquesas, in French Polynesia, is one of the longest passages on earth:

                                    It's 3,040 nautical miles.

So basically, in route planning, my lazy (I mean SMART!) gene kicked in, and I  convinced my husband that we should skip Central America and the Galapagos, and take the "short cut" -- the big, economical right turn and go straight to the Marquesas from Mexico.

                                         Much easier.  :-)

This was all pretty much settled, until yesterday. We went down to San Diego to meet up with and buy some charts from our friends Mike and Ann Last, who are in the midst of a long circumnavigation.

When we told them of our plans to skip Costa Rica and The Galapagos, they were horrified.

"Oh, you MUSTN'T!" they exclaimed in their British accents. Did you ever notice that things sound that much more ominous and important when uttered in a pure, English tongue? Well, it's true.

                                            Lush Costa Rica

They then went on to tell us that 3 months is more than enough time in Northern Mexico, and that Costa Rica and The Galapagos were simply unmissable.

                                             The Galapagos

Oh, boy. A sense of anxiety rolled over me as they cajoled us with things like: "This is your one chance! You won't be going back! You must take this opportunity to see these extraordinary places while you can!"

Sigh. You guys -- stop it. Seriously. We have it all planned out. We're taking the SHORT CUT. Because it's EASIER. It's more DIRECT. It's LESS WORK.

Then they said: "And you can take a tiny detour and visit Cocos Island!"

OK, now this was playing dirty. Cocos Island is basically one of the wildest, most exotic destinations on earth. We have seen countless Discovery Channel specials on it. It is sort of the holy grail of SCUBA diving and ocean exploration.

                                           Cocos Island

                   Diving with hundreds of hammerheads at Cocos.

So now we're back in limbo. Which would YOU do: take the easier, single shot jump?

Or the longer, more tiring and complicated haul with the unspeakable charms of Costa Rica, Cocos Island, and the Galapagos?

Well, the beauty of sailing is that we don't need to decide right now. We have the charts and guidebooks for them all.

So we will do what all sailors have done since ancient times...we will follow the wind, and follow the weather...follow the floating breadcrumbs...

                                 ...and the path will become clear.

So Now We Have To Worry About Cannibalism?!

11 days 'til we shove off on our big sailing adventure to Mexico and the South Pacific.

 Yesterday I received an e-mail from our friend Tomidan notifying us the media is reporting that a German cruiser was murdered and eaten by a cannibal on the island of Nuka Hiva in the Marquesas in French Polynesia.

                                        German sailor/cruiser Stefan Ramin.

The story goes that Stefan, who was sailing French Polynesia with his girlfriend aboard his catamaran, was invited on a goat hunt with local Henri Haiti. He never returned. Officials found burning body parts in a remote part of the island, which are being tested in Paris.

        Suspect Henri Haiti, with a tattoo of a tribe which is rumored to have a history of cannibalism.

Oh, for the love of... (sigh). You know, every other person we meet these days reminds us to be careful of pirates, of tsunamis, of hurricanes...and now we have to worry about cannibals?

And Mr. Haiti looks like such a nice guy in the shot above, too.  I mean, seriously. I would trust him instinctively, based on the photo.

Yes, the Marquesas, and the island of Nuka Hiva ARE on our sailing itinerary.

                                           Beautiful Nuka Hiva, sailor's paradise.

 AND YES, Mr. Haiti is still at large, running amok, eyes blazing, machete in hand, no doubt.

OK, time for some reality orientation now.

First of all, noone really knows what actually happened. And the Marquesan people are horrified, and insist that cannibalism has been long dormant from the French Polynesian country.

I mean, who knows? These were two guys out in the country going hunting.

                                   Things go wrong on hunting trips.

Also, they were two GUYS -- two MACHO guys who didn't even speak the same language. Perhaps they were drinking some ceremonial Kava and things got out of hand. Who knows?

Yes, there is a distant history of cannibalism in some tribal cultures, including in the Marquesas and other island destinations. But I emphasize the word "history."

There are no known tribes in modern times who practice cannibalism. And there is a logical explanation for why the practice has died out. In olden times, islands, and human tribes, were quite spread out and isolated. Hunger was certainly an issue at times...which would lead to...well, you know...

But times are different today. Even the most remote islands have at least some contact with airplanes and boats bringing junk food from all over the world.

And where's the incentive to go out and cannibalize when you've got burgers, fries and cupcakes available?

But there have been isolated instances of the practice in recent times.

Remember mass murderer Jeffrey Dahmer? Look how sweet and innocent he looks in this photo. Who knew that the night before he took this little puppy photo he chopped up his latest victim and threw him into the boulliabaise? And Mr. Dahmer did not live on an exotic island. He had no scary tattoos.

                                                          He lived in Milwaukee.

                
     And what's safer and more All-American than Milwaukee? I mean, Laverne and Shirley lived there! Maybe they still do, for all I know. Shameezle, shamozzle...anyway, who knew there was a cannibal lurking about? Shirley might have even gone on a bad blind date with the guy!

 And don't forget about the All-American Donner Party. These were good, Christian, salt of the earth types, heading west to establish homesteads in California. They were no different than you and me. But you know what? In the end, they were cannibals. AMERICAN cannibals. In Lake Tahoe!

Then there was the Olympic soccer team whose plane crashed in the Andes in 1972. These were educated, athletic young guys who I'm sure normally enjoyed a typical college diet of McDonalds, pizza and beer. But after a few weeks trapped in the Andes? Guess what? Cannibals.

 Yes, some claim that humanity has a "natural" history of cannibalism, including the theory that the reason the Neanderthals died out is -- ahem -- we ate them.

And don't forget about another American -- Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lechter, as portrayed by Anthony Hopkins in "The Silence of the Lambs." He enjoyed the census taker's spleen with a fine Chianti, or so the story goes. But he was just a fictional character...

Or WAS he?

Oh, come on, I'm just kidding. I don't know. Who knows about any of this?

My point is this: danger is everywhere. And apparently, cannibalism, albeit extremely rare, is everywhere too. Even in America. I guess if people get insane enough, or hungry enough, it happens.

And anway, look on the bright side. It's not like the cannibal just starts knawing on your feet, plucking off one toe at a time. They most certainly just kill you first. So it's no different than any other club to the head or gunshot.

                                                       Feel better?

                                                            No?

OK, how about this:  I do have a plan: for the next 5 months, as we are sailing south through Mexico, our hope is to become the trimmest, slimmest and healthiest of our lives. So my plan is if we do run into that crazed, machete wielding Mr. Henri in the Marquesas, he'll pass us by and wait for the next, more meaty sailors.

This is, coincidentally, also my plan to prevent great white shark attacks.

So Tomidan...anymore interesting e-mails you want to send me before we shove off?  :-]

Top 10 Sailing Celebrities of All Time

                             Movies stars and yachts. It's an old tradition.

                                      Steven Spielberg's "Seven Seas"

  
                                 Simon Cowell's quaint little megayacht.

But the thing is, the rich and famous who choose to go to sea usually do it in power yachts, as in the ones shown above. It's just easier. And faster. ("And lazier" -- sailors editorial comment...tee hee.)

But what about sailors? Are there any rich and famous celebrities who sail? Turns out there are:

                                              10) LARRY ELLISON

 This Silicon Valley CEO of Oracle (and billionaire) has salt water in his veins. He's won the America's Cup and done countless offshore races. It doesn't seem like he spends much, if any, time at the office, but I guess if you're the CEO then that's your perogative!

                                               9)  HUMPHREY BOGART

 
                                       Hey kids! Keep your eye on the road there!

Yep, Bogie and Lauren Bacall were Newport Beach sailors. He raced alot too. In fact, the race from Newport to Catalina Island he used to participate in and win is still going on. It's now named The Bogart Series in his honor. Chris and I won it a couple of years ago aboard Chuck Brewer's "Heartbeat." What a wonderful legacy!

                                                Newport Beach yachtsman Chuck Brewer

                                                                                                                                                        
                                                       8) MORGAN FREEMAN

      Looks like Morgan Freeman has knocked "Learn to Sail" off of his bucket list! And we know he's already skydived (skydove?) with his pal Jack Nicholson in the movie of the same name. Wonder what's left on that list? You would think not much.

You'd be wrong.

"If anything, my bucket list gets longer," Mr. Freeman says. "What keeps you going if you don't have a bucket list?"

                                                 7)  DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER

 Yep, turns out our Dr. Laura loves shacking up on sailboats. And racing them as well. And who's at the helm? SHE IS, of course. With an all male crew too, evidently. We never raced against her, but I bet she takes no prisoners. Fun fact: she's been accused of cheating by lightening up the boat and not contacting race officials. Dr. Laura...tch tch tch...

But ya gotta love a lady who has the balls to step up to the helm in the very macho world of yacht racing! She's braver than me, that's for sure. Rail fluff she is NOT...

                                                            6)    JOHN LENNON

John, John! There's no SMOKING in sailing! Ah, but we'll forgive you. It was a different time then.

In 1980 he took a 600 mile voyage from Rhode Island to Bermuda to shake off writer's block and get the creative juices flowing.

They ran into a bad storm and he had to do his time at the helm. He recounts the experience:

"At first you panic...but once you got out there and start doing all the stuff, you forget your fears and you got high on your performance...there I was at the wheel with the wind and sea lashing out at me. At first I was terrified...but once I accepted the reality of the situation, something greater than me took over and all of a sudden I lost my fear.

 I actually began to enjoy the experience and I started to shout out old sea shanties in the face of the storm, screaming at the thundering sky."

Lennon also compared the experience to when The Beatles were at their peak, saying he felt "centered" and "in tune with the cosmos."

                                              5) WALTER CRONKITE

 Cronkite said: "I love the challenge of the open sea, the business of confronting Mother Nature and learning to live compatibly with her, avoiding if possible her excesses but always being prepared to weather them."

                                                           4) TED TURNER

         
 Many people are not aware that Ted Turner won the America's Cup back in the day and was actually a famous sailor before he invented the 24 hour news cycle. I'd like to see him battling one on one vs. Dr. Laura. In fact, forget the sailboats. Let's just put 'em in the ring!

                                                              3) JEREMY IRONS

Mr. Irons has sailed and raced for many years, including the BT Global Challenge. Before the gun fired on the long-distance ocean race, he said:

"I'm a little nervous. A little apprehensive. I think I would be a fool not to be. I'm always a little apprehensive when I go on the sea, because the sea is immensely powerful. I think it will be one of the most challenging things I've ever done."


                                                2)  STEPHEN COLBERT

Stephen did the 777 mile Charleston to Bermuda off shore race. He explained it this way:

"As a race, it was a complete disaster...it was hard...we lost both of our heads, we ran out of diesel...we couldn't charge our batteries...we ran out of water...our sat phone died, our halyards fouled...it was a crashing disaster in every direction.

Yet, at the same time, what struck me was that for all the hardship of it, for everything that went wrong, the entire experience was sublime...it was just beautiful. That's something that's very hard to explain if you've never been out there...it's just hard to explain what is so profound about it. That's why I want to go do it again, to reconnect with that feeling."

                                                    1)     JFK

Regardless of your political affiliation, ya gotta love the cut of JFK's jib. I can really not think of a more quintessential all-American image than these of he and Jackie, newly engaged and very much in love, out for a playful sail.

They were innocence and wholesomeness personified, free of the weight of all of the pain and scandal that would follow.

 And the beauty of it is, this little boat they took out that day is simple and inexpensive, within the reach of you and me...

      ...the joy of sailing is, truly, not about money. It's just about getting out there...

Top 10 Non-Cheesy Nautical Artists of All Time

Here's the problem. I love art. And I love the sea. But all too often, when one attempts to combine the two, what you get usually comes off as tacky:

                            Or even worse, boring as sin:

                                     ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Yikes. Yawn... Art is supposed to provoke and inspire. 

The problem is, the ocean is so frighteningly beautiful that I myself am often stricken with the desire to paint it when I'm out there. But I resist the temptation. 

Because trying to paint a shockingly transformative, mystical ocean scene is kinda like trying to paint God or Perfect Love.

Yeeesh. Needless to say, some things are practically impossible to translate onto canvas in a thoughtful, insightful way, and are usually better left unpainted.

Having said that, though, there are a gifted few who are able to make that mystical ocean world come alive in a non-tacky, non-boring way.

                                   10) KARLA NOLAN 

 

She is an American artist who lives in Colorado but is drawn to the sea. Her favorite quote: "Life is short. Use color!"

                                  9) DEREK MCCREA

      Derek is a retired US Army veteran who lives and paints in Georgia. I like the way he combines different textures: the softness of the clouds, the roughness of the whitecaps, and the sleek smoothness of the palm frons.

                                8) JAMES BUTTERWORTH

        He was an English painter born in 1817. He is known for his America's Cup paintings, which bring you up close to the action. I love the detail that you can only see the legs of two of the crewman.

                                 7) RAPHAEL LACOSTE

                                     

   Mr. LeCoste was born in Paris in 1974. Painting underwater scenes is also extremely hard to do. It is so easy to go over the top and end up with something unspeakably cheesy:

                                            Yeesh... :-/

                                    6) RICK SHORT

                                         "Lightning at Sea"

Painting drama and danger at sea is another challenge that is rarely done well. Mr. Short is particularly inspirational as he is self taught! He currently lives and paints in Florida. I certainly hope we never see anything like his frightening (yet beautiful!) image above.

                                      5) ANIL NENE

              

  Mr. Nene is an Indian artist who is also a practicing architect. He does the impossibly by making watercolor come off as thoughtful and provocative as well as characteristically beautiful. 

                                     4) THOMAS HOYNE

Thomas Hoyne grew up in the early 20th century in New England. He pursued nautical painting full time after he saw the film "Captains Courageous" in 1938 (which is, by the way, one of the many nautical films I haven't yet seen...). What I love about the work above is the realism of the shot. You feel like you are right there on the water with them. And the big, black tanker heading towards them ominously feels very familiar...been there, done that. :-/

                                  3) GEORGE DMITRIEV

Born in 1957 in the former Soviet Union, he does the impossible by using blazing color without appearing cheesy. 

            

                                 Dmitriev's "Moon and Waves"

                                2) KATSUSHIKA HOKUSAI

           

Born in 1760 in Japan, Hokusai's wood block paintings were revolutionary for their time. His "tsunami" above is one of his most famous.

                             1) CASPAR DAVID FRIEDRICH

                                   "Arctic Shipwreck"

 Born in 1774 in Germany, Mr. Friedrich managed to merge the terrible and the beautiful, as in "Arctic Shipwreck" above. If you look to the right of the jumble of ice you can see the last vestiges of a crumbling schooner, being crushed by the unrelenting march of nature.

"Close your bodily eye, that you may see your picture first with the eye of the spirit. Then bring to light what you have seen in the darkness, that its effect may work back, from without to within." -- Caspar David Friedrich